Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Through My Own Grievous Fault

Why does the Church seem to focus so much on sin?  Seeing the Cross makes me uncomfortable.  Thinking of myself as a sinner isn't easy.  Is it just pride?  I don’t think so.  Don’t get me wrong, pride has everything to do with it, but I think there’s more to it.  Seeing myself as worth less because of sin is the lie that whispers shame into my heart.  I'm not worth less when I sin, but that’s how I feel when the spotlight is focused bright on my sin.  As I wrestled with this in prayer, the Lord reminded me of my tooth.  About ten years ago I had a terrible toothache.  It was agony for a few days, but then the pain just went away.  I was relieved and forgot all about it.  Until a dental check-up led to a root canal, which led to two apicoectomies, an extraction, a temporary tooth and finally a very expensive implant. 
The dentist said that the pain was my nerve dying.  The pain was a sign that something was wrong.  Without the pain I didn't realize that the infection continued to fester, decay and was causing all kinds of health problems.  Sin is like that infection.  The Church reminds us to reflect on our sins because it is an infection in our soul.  The fact that sin makes us uncomfortable is a good thing, because if it didn't, we would ignore it and it would fester and grow.  But as we reflect on our sin, we have to remember that we are not worth less because we sin.  My teeth were not worth less because of the infection, but they were unhealthy.  Our sinfulness is a sign that an infection is festering and we need to see our heavenly Physician.  Just like my tooth needed the dentist, our hearts and souls need the Sacrament of Reconciliation.  The discomfort is there so that we don’t ignore what’s festering in our souls.

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